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The Sponge Pattern
   
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How To Finally Approach The Women You Lust For
We've all been there. You have been meeting her accidentally in the hall for a long time and every night you go to sleep you dream about her, you've decided a 100 times that you .....
Relationships. Theyre complicated, right? At least thats what weve been told, well, since childhood, girlhood, womanhoodwhatever. The point is theyre not easy. Growing up, adults try to explain away the differences between men and women in every way imaginable. Boys tease you because they like you. Women are more in-tune with their emotions than men. When I was in my first relationship, my dad (yeah, thats right, my DAD! Ughh!!!) gave me this book by a doctor named John Gray. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, was the name of it. Im sure youve heard of it, or perhaps even read it (I, myself, only made it through about 30 pages or so). Even if you havent read it, even if you didnt know it was actually a book, Im sure youve heard that men are from Mars, women are from Venus thing used in conversation, on TV, somewhere, everywhere. Well, it certainly seems sometimes, (all rightall the time), that men are from a different planet. But, what happens when you start dating guys that are all not just from Mars, but from the same country in Mars, state, even city? What happens when every guy you end up with, seems, well, like the same guy?We've all been there. You have been meeting her accidentally in the hall for a long time and every night you go to sleep you dream about her, you've decided a 100 times that you .....
I guess I was about 15 when I had my first boyfriend. Boring stuff. Not at the time of course, but far too droll to write an article about. You know the score. First time holding-hands, then first kisses, first kisses with tongue, first 2 hour make-out sessions in the back row of some movie theater, where you cant even recall what was playing (So how was the movie kids?) It wasnt until somewhere around 21 that the real dating began, if you could call it that, the real part, I mean. Everybody knows that in the beginning of a relationship no one is real. Im not even sure that there is a real before at least 25 or so, but thats a whole other article. Anyway, well call this one Ted, to protect the innocent. Innocent? That doesnt sound right. Well go with it though, for lack of a better word that doesnt rhyme with Bass-mole. I digress. Ted seemed charming enough. Like most red-blooded American boys, he, of course, wanted to get laid, and would do anything and say anything to do just that. But getting laid wasnt the problem. At least sex is something you can count on. I mean, you know they want it, think they need it to survive, and you know you hold the key, like some super-hero power. It is, at least, something you can control, understand, something ingrained in you by Mother Nature. In many ways its the easiest part of a relationship. But after the sex part is out of the way, what then?
Ted was a nice, sensitive guy. Not long after we met he fell into some bad luck. His roommate situation went sour and he needed help. He had nowhere to go, and his car wasnt running. I had been independent for a long time, and was settled, neatly, into my own place. I had a good car, a fairly good job, and no real relationship with my parents (long story). So when he asked if he could move in for a while, I said Of course! After all, I did really like him. He promised to help with bills, and I agreed to give him rides to work. Things didnt go exactly as planned. The first month passed, and rent was due. Ted didnt have all of it. He said he had been putting money into fixing his car. I told him I would cover what he was lacking. The next month it happened again, but I thought nothing of it. After all, a man needs a car, right? I figured everything would get easier after his car situation was better. I continued to give him rides to work everyday. I took him to the store to get cigarettes, to restaurants, to buy groceries. Even on my days off, I got up early so I could take Ted to work. Then something happened. I began to notice that I was the one paying for the cigarettes, the groceries, the restaurants, and the gas to take him to work. A seed of resentment and doubt began to grow. It had been three months now, and Teds car still wasnt running. He had put no money away to get his own place. What was he doing with his money? We began to fight a lot. Finally one day, guns were blazing and I told him it was over and he needed to move out. After an unpleasant departure, Ted was gone, and I had my home back again.
After a few months I met a new guy, Collin. It was Christmas Eve, and I, having no family to spend the holidays with, was doing my laundry at a nearby Laundromat. Collin and I started up a conversation while transferring clothes to the dryer. He was very handsome, and we seemed to have everything in common. A few days after we met, Collins roommate got them evicted, he said, and asked if he could stay with me for a while. I said yes, and helped him move in. Hed had a DUI a few months back and couldnt drive. At first, we had a lot of fun together. We went out every night. Collin played guitar, and sometimes would play me songs for hours after we got home. We talked about everything. When we had been living together for about a week I got very sick. Collin woke me when he got home from work, and asked me to drive him to the bar. When I said no, a little hurt that he seemed so uncaring about my illness, he got very angry. I finally got up and took him. I started to notice bottles of bourbon came and went very quickly around Collin. When rent came due, he didnt have it. How was this possible? Id asked him to pay very little, and he didnt have a car or any other bills, so what was he spending all his money on? Booze. It didnt take me as long to kick Collin out as it had Ted. Perhaps, I had learned and was applying my knowledge. Perhaps it was because the better I got to know Collin, the more he lost his temper, and the less I liked him.
Do You Want To Look Ten Years Younger?
Do you want to look ten years younger?
Here are twelve beauty tips that are guaranteed to work, if you follow them *all*. There's no point eating fresh fruit and vegetables, .....
There were a few more (than Id like to admit) cases of the guy who needed a place to stay. I began to wonder, Why do I always end up with guys who cant take care of themselves? And then it clicked. They needed me. Not in the good way, but that didnt matter. I mentioned before that I didnt really have a family, so to speak. I felt alone. These men, losers or not, needed me, depended on me. They couldnt leave, because they had nowhere to go, and no way to get there. Once I had identified the pattern, it was easy to avoid. I hung out with friends more, participated in healthy activities with healthy people, and before long, I started to meet healthy men. While these stories are factual, and, sadly, it did take me quite a few years and experiences to realize my mistakes, it doesnt have to for you. Take the time to analyze your past relationships and recognize aspects of them that seem to repeat themselves. Once you recognize the recurring themes of your relationships, you too can begin to change them. Then you can move on to another country of men. Hopefully this one will be the healthy one youve been looking for. If not, at least by the time you get there, youll be well traveled.Do you want to look ten years younger?
Here are twelve beauty tips that are guaranteed to work, if you follow them *all*. There's no point eating fresh fruit and vegetables, .....